APR's 3 easy ways to get a job

So has anyone used one of the many news web sites and notice a link to articles like "5 ways to lose weight" or "how to get a promotion". You blindly click on the article and it gives you very basic and common sense advice like diet and exercise or dress for your next position.

Well APR has had enough and is starting his own advice list. So the first list is 3 easy steps to get a job, guaranteed!

Yes APR will tell you 3 fool proof ways of getting a job no matter what the current economic conditions are.

So in reverse order:

3. Be related to someone who can hire you.

Remember Charlie Sheen? Do you really think he could have gotten a job without his dad? Okay Charlie Sheen is an easy target so try William Ford Jr. Who? because of his great-grandfather he's running a major multi-billion dollar company into the ground. You think that any loser can have that job? No you had to be related to the the founder of the company.

So look for a relative that has a job and ask to see if his company is hiring.

2. Know and/or date someone who can give you a job.

Not having any luck with monster.com or hotjobs.com? Well try match.com and look for people who currently have a job. Chances are on the first date you can see if their company is hiring. It's easy because unattractive people are usually workaholic's so they are respected in their company and can get you an interview. Don't limit it to just searches on the straight section either because you're really just looking for a job so check out the gay section too. Maybe this is why there aren't jobless gay people.

1. So if the other two steps don't work in getting you a job this will guarantee you a job.

One word, 4 letters....

ORAL... Yes APR said ORAL. Learn to give ORAL and the world is your oyster or penis depending on which Clinton you know.