Random rants at the Airport #3

Yes another work week on travel for APR.

So here are some random rants at the airport

I am reminded of Terry Pratchett’s quote on airports.

AIRPORTS: A place where people hurry up and wait.

This is what it’s like for me. I’m in a hurry to get to the airport to wait at check-in. I hurry through security to wait at the gate. I hurry to get on the plane so that I can wait in my seat. I hurry to get off the plane to wait at the baggage claim.

And all this hoping there aren’t any delays.

I feel that the guy behind me at security is always in a hurry and for some reason I’m the cause of all his delays. No you stupid F, the reason you're late is because the whole airline industry is f-ed up so stop giving me the dirty eye and calm the F-down. You F-ing A-hole.

Chinese Baby Food
So it looks like Chinese companies are selling baby food that had the same poisons that was in dog and cat food they were selling to the States last year. It’s a sad story but you know what will happen to the executives of these Chinese companies. Well it won’t be anything like the golden parachutes US executives get for running their companies into the ground and costing tax payers billions. Oh no they get shot in the head. Maybe we can do this in the US as well.

Sadly APR has to put on APR’s economics/business hat and give you 2 reasons why this isn’t a good idea in the States.

1. China has always had this policy and it hasn’t really worked.
2. This system will be abused by mid-level corporate managers who will use it to get a promotion.

APR knows 95% of mid level managers who would gladly setup their boss to get executed if it meant a promotion. Why only 95%? That’s because the other 5% never made it through business school.

Thank the Gods for cheap food
As the markets are crashing and fuel cost keeps going up, APR points to the only important economic indicator and wants everyone to calm the F-down.

Yes, please calm the F-down people and get back to work. Previously APR introduced the Arby’s economic indicator, and today APR will like to notify the world that the economic crisis isn’t as bad as you might think.

Because in the US, as unemployment rises, as more people are homeless, and inflation keeps going up, there is one item that has always remained relatively cheap.

What is this one item? APR has been told that no life on earth can exist without this one necessity. That necessity is food.

Yes FOOD!!!!! So before people start throwing themselves out of windows, think for one minute on if can you go down to the local fast food place and pick up some food? If you answered yes, you are in the top 75% of people on the planet that have that luxury.

And even as the financial markets are cashing down upon us, the extra value meals at McDonalds, Berger King, and Wendy’s haven’t gone up in the past 5 years, because it’s still $1 or less.

This is why people want to come to the US, because the US has the largest amount of homeless and unemployed people that are obese. You might not have a job or home but there is food here in abundance for the cheap.