What makes a good airport restaurant

What, what, what... an actual restaurant review.

How long has it been?

Well it's not really a review just an observation so shut your pie hole.

Anyway, what makes a good airport restaurant?

APR has two criteria for a good airport restaurant.

1. Make sure the food doesn't give you diarrhea.

2. Make sure the place has alcohol.

The diarrhea is self explanatory. In fact, the second it really the most important part.

Because if you're expecting a 5 star dinning experience at the airport you're an idiot. The airport restaurant is to give you a carb-load to get you through your flight without giving you the runs.

The alcohol is to allow you to deal with the crap that is flying in the US post 9/11. But make sure it's shots or mixed drinks because you don't want to get the flight hags on your ass because you took a piss in their galley. Why the F would they care if I piss in the galley. They don't have food there anymore. F-ing fligh hags!!!

So APR says carb-load and get lit!!!!

Except you Mr. Airplane flying man, oh you're not flying my plane... cool let me buy you another drink.