APR's Aspirations

Sorry for the lack of blog entries but as you all know APR has been busy with the “Crazy” that is the APR lifestyle.

Part of that “Crazy” is APR’s other aspirations. Like P-Diddy and J-Lo, APR wants to expand into new media and markets, with a new clothing line and perfume. But to do this, APR must bring APR’s brand of “Crazy” to the stage.

But over the weekend, APR was very disappointed in the fact that the major city production of the Nutcracker didn’t even ask APR to perform.

What What What!!!!

APR is dumbfounded and APR doesn’t know why either.

Here’s a little taste of APR’s resume for you to bask in APR’s acting skillz.

5’11”, 165 lbs and best time on the 40 was 10 seconds -- which makes APR twice as tall, twice the size, and twice as fast of any of the other ballerina’s, except for the big girl who always plays the Christmas tree because she might be on the O-line for the Seahawks. Also APR isn’t making fun of her because APR respects that she is trying to keep active and she can bench press 350lbs.

APR is currently headlining as Pirate #3 in the Eastside preschool special ed. production of Peter Pan. The buzz is APR will get a Tony nomination for that performance.

APR is also playing the race card. What does that have to do with anything in our color blind world? Picking APR would end decades of whitewashing on the stage and silver screen. (Need I remind you of Breakfast at Tiffany’s or 21?) Also, since APR is actually the same ethnicity as most of the ballerina’s performing, having an adult who actually looks like some of the girls would make better sense. Last year’s performance looked like a large group of Whitey’s were going to a Chinese orphanage and the Asian girl were performing for a chance to get adopted.

APR cannot understand the logic behind the Nutcracker selection committee. Maybe they are racist and just assumed that the Asian parents are there to force their daughters to perform like dancing monkey’s for the amusement of other Asian parents. Little do they know that some people, like APR, have higher aspirations in making their name “APR” into a global media and marketing brand.

But APR has the feeling that the production directors gave APR’s spawn a larger role as a “bonbon” because they know they screwed APR. APR also feels that this will allow APR to dress up like a bonbon and sneak onto the stage.

So mark your calendars for the APR Nutcracker – written, staring, produced and directed by APR with special guest of APR and updated music made and performed by APR!!!!

Coming this Holiday Season!!!!!