Pho Part #3: Lower Your Standards!

Now for the third and final part of my first pho review.

From Pho Part II, Attack of the Owner, I was annoyed with the owner’s lack of any business sense. Believe me, I know bad business sense, because my dad personally ran 3 businesses into the ground along with coming up with New Coke, the Edsel, and Betamax. So I can smell the stench of failure emanating from the owner, which made me homesick for my parents laundromat.

Before I can give my review, there are two brilliant ideas the owner came up that will need mocking; 1) the business name and 2) the business slogan.

I will not give you the name of the place since I still eat there and don’t feel like getting poisoned but I can tell you the name breaks with the tradition of actually having pho in the name, like Pho 666, Pho Beaverton, or maybe something catchy like Pho-U. This is confusing since every pho restaurant that serves pho has pho in the name (damn Vietnamese product marketing). The name of this place will make you think it’s a cheap knock-off of Starbucks. So the only way you might think this place serves pho is to know that pho is associated with Vietnamese food because his slogan states, “Savory Vietnamese food”.

This brings me to my point of lowering your standards.

Three words to live by if you don’t want to be disappointed “Lower Your Standards”. Aim for the bare minimal and anything above the curve is gravy. Happiness can be easily obtained if your goals and standards are low.

So what type of expectations would you have if you know you will obtain “savory Vietnamese food”?

1. You will get food
2. It will be Vietnamese food
3. It will be savory Vietnamese food

So the first two is expected in any Vietnamese restaurant you enter. “Savory” is actually an adjective meaning “pleasing to the sense of taste”. So you’re expecting food that tastes good.

Well I hate to shock anyone but don’t we expect food to taste good? Especially if you paid money for it!

Isn’t good tasting food and having a wait staff with 15 pieces of flair the bare minimal of the customer experience?

Since I am not a food critic in any way, shape or form, I will base my review on the three criteria of this establishment’s slogan.

1. Did I get food? Yes
2. Did I get Vietnamese food? Yes
3. Did the food taste good? Yes

Yes, there is truth in advertising, which puts this restaurant in the majority of restaurants in the world. Remember they didn’t advertise the world’s best pho or the best service or even a clean bathroom. They advertised good tasting Vietnamese food, so I give the restaurant an A for truth in advertising and adequately preparing the customer by lowering the customer’s expectations.

But this will not guarantee business success or even happiness to the owner. Because he only did 2 out of the 3 words necessary to find true happiness. He lowered your expectations; he didn’t lower your standards, because some people have higher standards than good tasting Vietnamese food and might want more from a restaurant. This is evident in the fact that after a year in operation the place is pretty empty every time we eat there.

So if you want food, that is Vietnamese in origin, and taste good, you can email me (anguyenk@gmail.com) and I will give you the name and address.