F-U Microsoft

Okay what the F happened to easy to use software and not F-ing with something that works? APR’s talking about you Microsoft, your MS OFFICE 2007 and every other MS product 20XX! Why are they so crappy and remove functionality that was working just fine in the previous versions. F-U Microsoft!

Let me remind you that when APR first started using a word processor instead of a typewriter APR used Word Star. What the F is Word Star and what the F is a typewriter? APR has no idea but it was like using two sticks to light a fire compared to when APR used MS Word for the Mac. Yes people Mac. You may not be aware of this but Microsoft Word software first came out for the Mac and Bill Gates and Steven Jobs were the best of friends taking on the evil empire of IBM. IB-Who? Yeah let’s skip the history lesson and let’s just say it was a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

So don’t get all MS fanboy on APR’s grill and say APR don’t know S about software and how to use software.

Because APR was the OG PC!

DOS Baby!

Give me a 5 1/4 floppy I need to reboot!

Can I get a shout out to the 486 in the house!

APR will not comment on how crappy Vista is because all the tech sites and nerd blogs are all over that like flies on rotten flesh.

No APR will talk about one aspect of MS Word 2007 and why this one item represents all that is wrong with Microsoft today with their backwards logic and poor decision making.

APR was just trying to do a simple “save as” in Word 2007 and couldn’t find the F-ing function. Not only does APR have to deal with the new user interface and crappy Vista OS but now APR has to relearn MS Word all over again.

F-U Microsoft!

Is it some evil plan by Microsoft to take over the world? Is it some right-wing conspiracy against journalist and reporters to prevent them from reporting on the Bush Administration? Or maybe it’s a left wing liberal media conspiracy to prevent people from reporting on Obama in a negative way?

Or maybe some dumbasses at Microsoft decided in multiple team meetings and design reviews that there was too much space taken up by all the new logo’s, function buttons, and 3-d design that they didn’t have room for “save as” anymore.

Sadly APR feels like it’s because of dumbasses at Microsoft. Chances are B-school dumbasses at that. This is what’s wrong with Microsoft. The people making the decisions are far removed from the people who have to use the system, that they left a function that every one used out of the new software. Nothing was wrong in Office XP or Office 2003 or Office 2000 or Office when it was just Word and Excel.

But the fanboys will be quick to point out that you can customize your buttons and view and add that function back with some quick 45 step process though multiple screens and drop downs. Don’t get me started on using MS help on line either.

Stop F-ing with it!!!

Image the following scene as Anakin was just reconstructed from this chard limbless body and was told the following.

Emperor: Arise Anakin!

Darth Vader: Yes, my master. What is thy bidding?

Emperor: Before you start using that new robotic body of yours that I built, there is a small matter that I need to tell you about.

Darth Vader: Is something wrong with Padme and my child?

Emperor: Yes, they’re dead, but that’s not really important until Episode V. It’s about your new robotic body. You see we had to switch from XP to Vista because the DELL Evil Robotic Parts Supplier can only load Vista and to downgrade we would have to pay more. It was a cost savings decision like not protecting that exhaust port on the Death Star.

Darth Vader: Since this is an upgrade would I get more functionality and power?

Emperor: Yes and no. You see Vader, it’s a software upgrade but it uses so much of your force powers to run all the new useless features like gadgets and upgraded web browser that we had to downgrade other functions.

Darth Vader: Huh?

Emperor: You really can’t do all the stuff you did in Episode I-III. You know the cool force powers that you had with the jumping and spinning and pulling stuff around? Not so much for Episode IV-VI. Also you’re not that good of a pilot or light saber user anymore since it was decided that those functions aren’t really needed. But you get MS Force Choke, MS One Care and you can connect to MySpace faster. They said with the next software upgrade you will get to do lightening attacks like me.

Darth Vader: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s the way I feel every time I use any new MS products. Why did they F with something that works. Why upgrade and why add new features when 95% of what is needed has always been there from the previous 5 versions?

Is it to make more money? Or maybe, to sell $50 “MS Word 2007 for Dummies”? Or Microsoft wanted to open a help desk farm in India?

F-U Microsoft! F-U PC makers for pre-installing this crap on every F-ing new computer! F-U Bill Gates for letting idiots run your company so that you can make commercials with Jerry Seinfeld. Yeah how did that work out for you? F-U Jerry Seinfeld you whore!

You’re cool PC man. I respect you.