Angry Parent Restaurant Review

This blog is dedicated to my brother, who like a 15 year old on myspace, has started his own blog but he’s like almost 30 and not trolling for underage kids. So I don’t really know why he’s doing it but I decided to mock him with this blog. Kind of like TuPac and Biggie if they had blogs and without the uplifting social commentary on the African-American culture that those two inspired with their music.

Here’s his blog http://sweetandsourboston.blogspot.com/ and let me tell you it sucks so please help him out and give him some pointers. Especially you 15 year old myspace kids, who have millions of people who read your entries religiously on what you IM’ed you BFF yesterday, because he needs friends.

Remember http://sweetandsourboston.blogspot.com/ and you can link to http://sweetandsourboston.blogspot.com/ as well to tell your friends how crappy the site is.

So here’s my Restaurant Review to counter his…

Popeye’s

What can I say… there are many ways to describe the dinning experience eating at Popeye’s, but the best review was from the Adam Sandler movie “Little Nicky”.

Popeye's chicken is f-in' awesome!

Don’t mistake my review of Popeye’s for a review of “Little Nicky”, because “Little Nicky” was a crap-fest. I mean what the F was Adam Sandler thinking? Sure he was swimming in money and likely had his balls gold plated at the time because of the chafing from studio executives kissing them but WTF was that movie. It was pure crap and the only redeeming value was Popeye’s deciding to pay for some product placement.

So back to Popeye’s… And why their chicken is awesome.

1) Its spicy. Not crazy N-word spicy or Indian pepper of death spicy but more like a Cajun spicy and that’s better than Whitey spicy any day. Yeah I’m looking at you Col. F-ing Sanders. I guess one of the 7 secret ingredient is crap.

You see Col., when white slave owners like yourself stole fried chicken from the brothers, you couldn’t handle the spicy flavors so you took it out. Just like when you stole rock n’ roll, you took out the hardcore gangster lyrics.

So Popeye’s added it back and it’s awesome. Taking a bite of their chicken takes me back to living in the delta listen to Zydeco and thinking of my pa who was eaten by an alligator. And that’s something you can’t steal from me Col. Whitey Sanders!!!

2) Its cheap. Okay let me say the political correct term is “value rich”. Because 89 cent two piece special on Tuesday along with 15 piece special at the gas station Popeye’s for $8 can’t be beat. When I order the two pieces 89 cent special I’m telling people I’m “value rich”. That’s almost as good as “money rich”.

Also with being “value rich” you know the clientele are poor (monetary funds lacking) working folk who need “value rich” food so that they can continue to work and not uptight fancy elitist who will give me a dirty eye as I set down with my girls. I can take my kids to Popeye’s and not get the critical look from other people about why I can’t control my kids. We all know the look… it’s the look of the person frantically searching for any open seat on the plane when they realized that they aren’t sitting with the hottie, but the family of 4 with kids that will scream all through the 5 hour flight. I mean it’s a free F-ing country and I’m sorry I have to keep asking my daughter if she pooped because we’re potty training her and poop talk might disturbed your fancy meal. And God forbid if we spill a drink. These are little kids and accidents happen! I see how you’re looking and judging me and my parenting skills. AND I’M THE BAD PERSON NOW JUST BECAUSE I SEE YOU LOOKING AT ME AND I CALL YOU OUT. WHY DON’T YOU MAN UP AND COME OVER HERE AND TELL ME STRAIGHT TO MY FACE HOW BAD A PARENT I AM!!! OH, OH, I SEE I’M THE A-HOLE NOW MAKING THE DISTURBANCE. I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON YOUR FOOD YOU A-HOLE.

FINE CALL THE F-ING POLICE SO THAT MY GIRLS CAN SEE THEIR DADDY TAKEN AWAY IN HAND CUFFS. I SEE YOU OVER THERE WITH YOUR CELL PHONE TOO. YOU RECORDING THIS FOR THE INTERNET. I GOT SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET. F-YOU! F-YOUTUBE! F-ALL YOU MOTHER F-ERS WHO ARE JUDGING ME AND HOW I RAISE MY KIDS!!!!

And that’s why daddy can’t ever eat at Bennigan’s again.

But at Popeye’s we have a fine time sitting next to a family of 20 trying to eat because they are on their way north to find jobs or maybe it’s the first of the month and the family gets a treat. So when my girl spills her drink, no one notices especially when I have the water cup filled with soda.

Where was I? Oh yeah Popeye’s is Awesome.

3) There is no three because you should already be there eating some chicken and having a good old “value rich” time.