APR's Sports Motto

APR’s motto about APR’s favorite teams has always been:

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women.

No words have summed up spectator sports like those spoken by Conan. Sadly it has nothing to do with the game since the game only last hours. It’s the mocking of the other team and their fans as their team loses and the sad looks on their faces. But if you lose, there is still hope that the next time the teams play your team can win and you will be the one’s celebrating.

Since APR has been away from ground zero (the region where APR’s teams plays), no one really cares about APR’s teams and APR likes that (especially when APR’s team loses).

So lately it has become a tradition with APR to watch ESPN late at night and hear the praised heaped up APR’s teams as they win. Somehow hearing other people praise APR’s teams has become the manna in which APR survives the day to day crap at work before APR’s team plays another game.

Sure APR can go to some likeminded fanboy web site and read the praises of APR’s team but to hear it from paid professionals who should be unbiased seems even sweeter.

Now I know what you are thinking. APR aren’t you a pompous ass when it comes to your teams? Yes APR is a pompous ass but there are some things APR won’t do.

Yes, APR cries inside and dies a little when APR’s team loses, and APR will scream and cheer during the game but APR will not belittle any opposing team’s fans about their team (APR will belittle them for acting like A-holes, retarded dumb asses, and living in a god forsaken state but not their team).

One more thing…

BOOMER! SOONERS!

Another APR Kickass Football Player

So APR would like to name Florida State safety Myron Rolle as another APR Kickass Football Player.

I know what you all are thinking... APR has gone off the deep end. Not only did he pick a black athlete but also picked someone outside of Texas.

Well let me tell you a little something about Myron Rolle. He's a safety for Florida State and APR thinks he has a bright future ahead for himself. Sadly not in the NFL.

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=3719726

This dude is F-ing smart. He got named to a Rhodes scholarship. Yeah... let's list other famous black Rhodes Scholars...

Okay APR can't name any famous Rhodes Scholars but APR can name several past Heisman Trophy winners. So let's just say APR isn't really down with the whole education thing. APR believes that athletes shouldn't be slowed down by book learning. Especially during football or basketball season or preseason or even post season. The athletes are there to win championships and their reward is to F cheerleaders and get money from boosters.

So why name Myron an APR Kickass Football Player? Because the dude is smart and has gone against so much to do this.

APR assumes that getting a Rhodes Scholarship is as hard as understanding the BCS but this dude went up against one the biggest stereotype known to modern society.

The stereotype of the dumb jock. He was able to not only get the award but also continue to play for his team. He could have easily just let other people take his classes for him or have the coach pressure his teachers to give him a passing grade but Myron actually went to class and did his work.

So Myron in addition to being a Rhodes Scholar you are now one of the few people with the title of APR Kickass Football Player. Tell that to the whitey mc-white white at Oxford.

F-You Rudy!!!

F-You Rudy... NCAA football has a great new feel good, inspirational, and motivational story. And it ain't about some short-ass slow whitey...

It's Texas Tech's kicker Matt Williams...

APR knows you're asking yourself APR must be a racist again... Promoting another white kicker over Crabtree who make the winning TD.

Come on APR he's just a kicker... and what's his time on the 40?

APR get's it but let me tell you something about Matt.

He was just trying to earn some rent money and ended up being part of the greatest game of Texas Tech's history.

Listen you have all heard the story about Matt so APR won't repeat it because there are creditable news organizations that will tell the story over and over again. APR just whats to put a little spin and perspective on this story.

You all know about Rudy right? Some loser ass white kid who got to play with Notre Dame. Yeah you all saw the movie with the hobbit playing Rudy with his man love for a bald black janitor so I assume you know about him.

Well what the F did Rudy do? Really! What the F did he do for the team?

APR thinks he made a sack... A F-ing sack... was it a sack on the Heisman Trophy contender QB of the number 1 team to win the game? No it was just a F-ing sack.

For this a movie was made?

Come on people there are players who had to fight racism, handicaps, and some even fought in wars to play football and did more than make a f-ing tackle.

Matt Williams scored 10 pts for the Red Raiders. Sure he had 4 PAT's and one FG blocked but how much did Tech win by? 6 pts! 6 pts by Matt Williams.

This isn't to diminish what the Red Raiders did, with Harrell, Crabtree, their receivers, running backs, the O-line, the D-line, the secondary, the lineman, special team, waterboy, and the coaching staff (especially the pirate himself Leach) did but looking at Matt's accomplished vs. Rudy's who is the bigger hero? Who is the bigger inspiration? Who is Da Man?

F-You Rudy... F-You Notre Dame hype and bias. If Matt was playing for the Fighting Irish he would be an instant God to them and books, movies, TV show appearances and motivational speaking engagements would already be underway. All Matt needs now is someone to write his autobiography and sign him up for motivational tours.

Matt you're APR's Ass Kicking Player of the week...

Since APR doesn't know any Tech sayings APR has come up with the following...

ARGH! F-You Rudy!!!!!

APR Kick Ass NCAA Football Players

So watching football over the past few weeks APR has realized that there are a number of kick ass NCAA football players that don't get the recognition that they deserve. So APR is going to highlight some of those kick ass players.

First off is Drew Combs from TCU.

I know all you are saying APR you're one racist M-Fer. You pick a white kicker as a kick ass player.

Well before you start sending me hate emails like the Jackson family look at the youtube video...



Not only is the dude white, a kicker, and wears funny shoe, he has one F-ing arm. One F-ing arm! This due is good enough to play on the college level and tackle people with one F-ing arm.

One F-ing arm!!!!! This is why he's a kick ass player.

Leon Freeman from Baylor

Is this another joke? APR picked a DE from one of the worst teams in the NCAA which just got their asses handed to them by the Sooners.

Before you M-Fer start complaining let me tell you this guy spent nearly six months in Iraq with Bravo Company 1-41 Infantry right out of high school. While all the fancy pants qb's from the big schools were out F-ing undergraduates this guy was being shot at and avoiding IED's. This is not just a kick ass football player he's a F-ing American hero. He deserves to have an action figure like the "Fridge" who faught Cobra for GI Joe in the 80's.

http://baylorbears.cstv.com/sports/m-footbl/mtt/freeman_leon00.html

So make fun of his team all you want but this guy was in Iraq! So all those fancy players with their awards doesn't compare to this guy because he FOUGHT IN IRAQ!

I can see the post game interview after Baylor's lost to OU.

Reporter: Mr. Freeman this must have been a hard lost to the number #1 team in the nation.
Freeman: No M-Fer's being shot at and losing your best friend to an IED is a tough lost so get the F out of my face.

Are you ready for some Football!!!!

As so many of you know I can't write or read. But it doesn't mean I can't appreciate good writing. So getting ready for football here's a great commentary on the greatness that is the NFL. And if you're illiterate like me you can listen to the audio link on the web page.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=93995199

The article is by Frank Deford and is contains good points, wit, and sarcasm along with being topical, insightful and humorous.

Here are some quotes.

The most difficult decisions the commissioner of the NFL must make are along the lines of, "Oh my, what in the world are we going to do about Brett Favre?" And: "How can I keep Jerry Jones happy?" And: "How long do I suspend players who shoot people in nightclubs?"

Tennis is so confusing that it runs about 64 weeks a year. Tennis and boxing also have so many competing agencies that they are all just identified by their initials, so nobody even knows who anybody is. We have the ITF and the WBC and the WTA and the WBA and the ATP and the WBF. American professional football has The Commissioner.

But the more spread out a sports organization, the more diffuse its charge — and the more individuals rather than teams are competing, the more inefficiency and, also, the more opportunity for chicanery. Do you really think the International Olympic Committee is capable of finding out how old those itty-bitty little Chinese gymnasts really are? Please.